Maybe Humans Shouldn't Speak Anymore

There a few things i like in this world. Booze, Broads and...more Broads. Included in that list is ironies. I love ironic twists and turns. I love that Hitler killed a bunch of people and was a vegetarian. Not that I loved that he killed people, but more that I loved that..well..

Let's just move on.

There are plenty of ironies to be listed in the history of the world. Ronald Reagan using Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA" as a campaign song, Alanis Morrisette's single, "Ironic", not having one single line of irony in it, and my favorite, this guy.

Now what's the difference between irony and being a dumbass? I don't know. I just consider everything irony. If you were looking for English Language Uses 502 you've come to the wrong place. That blog takes place on the corner of Lame St. and Boringashell Way.

Irony strikes at every turn. You never know when it could be you that irony strikes with its cold grip of despair making you like a fool. As my friend, Garland " The Marietta Mangler" Greene, once said while his jailed brethren were dancing to Lynyrd Skynyrds "Sweet Home Alabama",

"Define irony. A bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash."

With that I bring you the story of Robin Starr, the head of the Richmond SPCA in Virginia. You see, Mrs Starr and her organization are a staunch group of people protesting the right for Michael Vick to enter the NFL for his role in brutalizing dogs. In fact, they sent a scathing release to the NFL condemning their actions for re-instating him.

"The action of the NFL commissioner to reinstate Michael Vick is both premature and unwise. Vick has not yet demonstrated that his remorse is sincere or that his irresponsible, cruel and criminal behaviors are likely to change. The NFL and its leadership apparently lack the integrity to require civilized behavior from their players. This would reflect poorly on any team that adds Vick to its roster. - Robin Starr, Chief Executive Officer, Richmond SPCA"

Robin Starr has been very vocal in the treatment of animals in the Richmond and Virginia area. She has been quoted in numerous sources and has been very outspoken about the way Michael Vick and others treated animals. She has made her points known and very very public. So on the day before Michael Vick first took the field after brutalizing dogs and killing them, Starr was back in the news.

SPCA's Dog Left in Hot Car, Dies

Uh, oh.

Takebacks?

That's right, Robin Starr's 16 year old dog, that was blind and deafm was left in her car for 4 hours in the hot Virginia sun and died of kidney failure. Now, it's come out that Starr's husband put the dog in the car without telling her so she didn't know that the dog was there. It's a sad story for sure, but let me just say this. When you come out and make yourself public and berate people for animal abuse (Not just Michael Vick), you should probably make sure your dog doesn't die....

IN A HOT CAR.

Call me crazy.

Yes, it was an accident. You know what else is an accident? Shooting yourself in the leg. Or maybe running over someone while talking on your cell phone. All accidents. Oh, Robin Starr, this is too rich my friend. TOO RICH. So how do we take the head of the Richmond SPCA seriously when she comes out against dog abuse? There's only one way. Divorce your husband. Or keep him in the back of a car for 36 hours. I don't see any other options. As a wife you should expect civilized behavior from your husband.

Except the toilet seat. It's hard to remember.

Alanis Morissette could have probably used this.

Powerful lady, had an old dog...
she yelled at everyone, to keep them less hot
then one day with the car on the street
had a dog in the back and he died of heat...

Isn't it ironic?

At least then she would have had one ironic situation.