Death Becomes This Post. Prepare For Outrage!

A couple thoughts on this friday.

- So remember when Billy Mays died about a month ago everyone was shocked. Here was a seemingly healthy 50 year old man just croaking on the floor of his home. It was sad. How could this happen to someone like this?



Everyone looked at themselves like this could happen to them. Just walking around one day shouting at people to buy some putty or something and then boom, dead. Well, it seems that Billy had a little secret. A secret of the nose candy. Florida snow. Charlie. Jelly Beans. Happy Dust. That's right, a little of the icing, green powder. All I'm saying is COCAINE. Most people were shocked by this. I'll tell you one person who isn't.

ME.

I am happy. Now you might ask why I'm happy about some dying. Well, because he didn't just fall out of bed one day and die. I don't want to live in a world where people just die for no reason at 50. No siree. If I did, I would build a time machine, go back to 1876, inject myself with smallpox, probably have unprotected sex (because hello, condoms didn't exist and people were free!) with ladies of the night, drink grain alcohol, discover new lands and then die at around 36. Full life, indeed. Now that Billy Mays has be proven to do cocaine and other unprescribed drugs I can feel better that random deaths don't happen to people that young. Let's all rejoice by giving some co-workers a high five and a smile. Viva Life!

- Michael Vick signed with the Philadelphia Eagles. Oh sweet Jesus. You would have thought Jeffrey Dahmer started working at the Hostess factory. "Dahmer, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT EATING THOSE FRUIT PIES!" If you didn't know, Michael Vick operated a dog fighting ring, killed dogs, brutalized them, ran a gambling ring, didn't pay his taxes and basically ate babies. He is an awful human being. Do I care about him? No. But it seems that everyone else does. I'll just say this, if you are an athlete and you get jail time for something you should never play sports.

You, sir, are a moron.

DUI. Get the Hell out.
Domestic Violence. F you.
Riding Dirty. Hasta la vista and so on.

Sorry, you are a MILLIONAIRE. Playing professional sports is not a right it is a privilege that a few over weight balding men on weekends would die for. If you can't keep your nose clean then you don't deserve to make that money. As for this whole Michael Vick situation, I don't really care. I really don't. He is despicable yes. But showing your outrage will do nothing. He doesn't care. If he did care he wouldn't have been an epic douche and done all of this. You think he cares about people calling him bad words? Please. So why is everyone's vitriol towards him? It should be towards the NFL into letting him back and make..wait for it..

1.6 MILLION dollars.

Hold on, going to jail for two years. I'll be right back.

Must be nice. The only issue I have with people about this is that it seems society's outrage has gone from caring about humans to caring about animals 1000 percent more. I like animals too. They are defenseless. But I like humans more. The problem I have is that we have somehow valued animal life over human life more in this country and I'm not sure where that started. Whenever something bad happens to an animal, PETA and their cronies are up in arms having protests and throwing monkey feces at corporations. Whenever someone gets killed by a drunk driver there is one little quote from MADD or SADD or DADD or GLAD trash bags denouncing it. No protests. No monkey poo. Nothing.

This confuses me. If you are for animal rights, more power to you. Who isn't? But also be for people rights. Be fair. Are you protesting at your job because someone there hit their wife but is still allowed to work there? That woman that got hit demands as much time and energy as your dog. They have a voice too. Humans are taken advantage of. Sometimes murdered. If you are going to scream from the rooftops because Toucan Sam was sexually harassed by the Keebler Elf then you should scream at your company for employing these people. Look around. Almost 2 out of every 3 woman have been attacked by a family member or someone they know. They exist. Society has a tendency to keep their mouths shut about this. It shouldn't be that way.

To take it a step further. Squeaky Fromme was released from prison today. Do you want to know what she did? She was in the Manson family. She stuck up for Charles Manson at his trial. Charles Manson terrorized people. He killed people. She was present during the killings of people. She held a gun, albeit empty, at President Ford. She was never convicted for the killings, but went to jail for brandishing a weapon at the President.

She is an awful human being that watched the killings of other humans. She should not be allowed back in society. But here she is. Free. Thinking she did nothing wrong. How many articles will we see denouncing Fromme's actions tomorrow? One? Two? Yet Michael Vick garners the attention of a thousand Popes. I'm not saying what he did was ok by any stretch. It was disgusting. But Michael Vick and Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme both basically killed. One watched humans die. One watched dogs die. Shouldn't we be equally outraged? Yet we only see about how awful Michael Vick is. They are both awful. EQUALLY. And we should not forget that.

doo doo doo.

The More You Know.