Don't be Nice
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
I've been told I have a type of woman that I like. Ones with vaginas. But if we were to narrow it down a little further it's obvious that I prefer brunettes. Now I ain't gonna kick a blonde girl out of bed because, hello, doing it is doing it. Saw that on an infomercial once. RIP. Billy Mays. As a wise man once said, "Blondes get me to look, brunettes get me to take my pants off." I would like to clean up that quote to say, "I'll take my pants off for anyone."
What was the point of this?
Right. I also like short hair. I realized this the other day when I kept staring at a short haired brunette girl and creeped her out mainly because my fly was undone. It was awkward. The problem is that I live in LA and short hair is seen as a sign of the devil. BEELZEBUB!Look at what these people did to Katie Holmes when she cut her hair! They made her marry Tom Cruise! That is the epitome of insanity driving a woman to do something extreme. So the issue being that the type of woman that drives me crazy doesn't really live out here. A fact I realized when I told my friend how good her short hair looked.
Me- "Wow, your hair looks great. "
Friend - "Really? I didn't want to cut it. I FEEL SO NAKED!"
Me- "I like it. You should have done it like years ago."
Friend- "I think I look better with long hair, why do you like it?"
Me- " I don't know. It accentuates your face? I feel like that's what they say on those makeover shows. I just like it. I'm a man."
Friend- " Interesting. You like girls with short hair don't you? I don't think its fair to ask you."
Me- " FINE. I HATE IT."
Friend- "Well that wasn't what I was expecting."
ME- "I don't know what you want me to say. Your hair is nice. The end."
Friend- " Thanks. But I can't wait to grow it out again."
Me- "Um, you just cut it. Women be weird."
Friend- "Yeah, but I think long hair is the thing. Most guys like that."
Me- "I JUST SAID I LIKE YOUR HAIR!"
Friend- "You're weird."
So in conclusion, don't say nice things to girls ever again. Also I'm the only weirdo that likes short hair. If you find this woman please tell her to break up with Charlie because I want to talk. Thank you and good day.
Or Charlize
Or just watch this video with no pants on.
35 comments:
I have brown hair.
And I just cut it short.
How do you feel about petite women?
Scratch that. I'm taken.
I don't fall into either the brunette or the short hair category (at the moment), but I like that you like short hair. I never understood why most guys prefer it longer.
I cut about 9 inches off my hair last year and you would have thought I fucked my grandma. Many men in my life went insane.
So since I have long blonde hair is this your way of saying we will never get married? Fine!
Damn me and my red hair. I really thought we had something for a second.
Always playin' second fiddle to the brunettes.
Agreed with the short hair. Move up to Portland. There's plenty of us up here.
So basically, your pants are already off?
Brunette, yes...
I prefer longer hair. But youre right...doin it is doing it.
Charlize Theron is GORGEOUS!
Scary how they made her so ugly in that Monster movie, isn't it?
So, in summation, short-haired vaginas.
I want natalie. Did before. Do more now.
I'd like to see you post a conversation with a women where you actually win.
It seems all the girls you talk to have one thing in common: they're all crazy.
Thinking about it, I just realized all of my friend who are girls who have short hair all have girlfriends. Like girlfriends.
Has Charlize always had that website tattooed on her neck?
Also, her eyes look weird. Like someone 'shopped her left eye on from some other photo.
I love Natalie Portman and that video and you for posting it.
Well looks like I fit in your category...I'm a brunette AND more importantly I have a vajayjay!
Marie- No one likes a tease.
Liebchen - YES! short hair rules. I agree.
Lemmonex- so you did or did not bang your grandma?
LBluca77- What? I already thought we were married. What am I supposed to do with this Stay Loose tattoo?
shine- We've discussed this. Red hair trumps all.
GH - How about move down to LA? Stalemate.
NV- Were they ever on?
Matt- I'm going to send you a "Doin it is Doing It" T shirt. Please spread the word.
Angela- I refuse to watch that movie. Nightmares.
lacochran- Yes and yes. No hair is ok for that too.
Dshan- Get on the list. You're 3,872,324
Dolce- Please take pics.
LRC- Oh you so crazy!
regardez - Does anyone not love Natalie Portman?
that girl - WIN!
BWP likes this post.
my hair is short and brunette so i automatically rule. yes i think so.
My hair was short for years, it happened to coincide with a dry spell so I kind of put two and two together and am now growing it out. Coincidentally I am also getting laid.
In conclusion, you are an anomaly within the male gender.
Also, where the hell were you when I had short hair and wasn't getting any?
I have short brown hair. My hubby prefers it too! So right there, I think you are a ROCKIN' guy! I'll look for others as awesome as me and send them your way!
I'm just glad that Billy Mays was mentioned. He was a brunette and a had short hair. basically, he was the full package.
That's a really awkward photo of Charlize. Is that her? I'm not convinced.
Short hair rocks! And blonde is overrated. Thank you for approving the shorties of the world!
And HELLOOO Alyssa Milano totally rocks the shorty look.
2 words: Shannyn Sossamon. Hands down probably one of the hottest chicks to rock a short brown spiky cut. *drools*
Women be weird. I blame men.
My hair is the longest its been in years- I usually keep it chin length. Everytime I say I'm going to cut it, my roommates freak out. Dang LA girls. Same with the color- I get bored and dye it brunette all the time. Right now it's platinum and I want to change it. Again, they freak out.
Screw em.
I love short hair too and have been trying to get my wife to cut it short for years but she just point blank refuses but then again she's a blonde and maybe that's all the difference i don't know and i wonder how long you can hold your breath while you're reading this sentence have you turned blue yet i don't know but i'm having a collapse.
I think women are mad sensitive when we cut our hair short because it's so connected to our concept of femininity. I cut mine into an asymmetrical bob recently. Felt strangely naked for a few days, before I fell in love with it.
whats wrong with charlize eye in that pic?
I want short hair but after I cut it like Demi Moore in ghost in 1993, my first kid school boyfriend dumped me because i looked like man. In front of everyone. I hate him. Never cut my hair short since
girls can't help it. most of us think we look better with long hair. and even if we KNOW we don't (i.e. my brunette curls are WAY curlier when short) we still WANT long hair b/c that's what all the other girls are doing.
Like you I would not kick a breathing woman out of bed, but I do prefer long hair. Come to Florida, the land of the short hairs.
I was totally into this until I realized you were talking about the hair on her head.
Gawd I have such a girl-boner for Natalie Portman.
I heart you. Seriously. But I don't have short hair, alas.
Brunettes and short hair all the way. Long hair blondes are boring - anyone can be blonde but it is hot to pull off being brunette.
Post a Comment